Sammy
by HappinessAwaitingMe
Summary: Dean is pissed off at Sam, again. Is there something deeper bothering him?


Dean didn't speak at all on the drive back to the motel. Sam had to admit it was making him nervous. He had pulled off a risky move, but it worked out just like it always does. Honestly, he didn't know what Dean was so worked up about. Sam watched his brother put himself in danger over and over, never listening to Sam. _Fuck it. If Dean wants to be pissy, let him. I'm not going to apologize. _

Dean pulled crookedly into a parking spot and cut the engine. Without even looking at Sam, he got out of the car and slammed his door. He disappeared into the room and Sam heard the bathroom door bang shut. Sam walked into the room and set his bag down on the chair closest to him. Dragging his hand down his face, he sighed loudly at his brother's typically overdramatic behavior. Apparently on the way to the bathroom, Dean undressed quickly. His shoes were kicked off in the middle of the floor, his jacket was thrown on the bed and his shirt lay crumpled right outside the bathroom door. Sam trailed after his brother and picked up his clothes, folding them gently and laying them on the edge of one of the beds. Sam knocked on the bathroom door, and in response Dean turned on the shower full blast. "I'm gonna go get us some beer. I'll be back in a little while." Sam placed his palm on the door for a split second, and then grabbed the Impala's keys.

_Sammy just doesn't understand. I know he thinks I'm a hypocrite but Sam doesn't need to be risking his life. Sam was happy when he was at Stanford with Jessica. Sam was happy the year I was in purgatory; he had moved on from this shitty life Dad threw us into. All I've ever wanted was for him to have a better life than he was given. And he's always trying to throw it away!_

Dean shut his eyes as the memory of just a few hours before assaulted him.

_Dean watched in horror as his brother was grasped from behind by the vampire. The creature's arms were pinning Sam's arms down. The machete was rendered totally useless. Dean knew he was at a disadvantage. If the vampire saw him move, he could easily sink his fangs into his little brother. Without warning, Sam put his right foot forward, and then slammed himself back into the vampire. They stumbled onto the floor, Sam rolling on top. Using his momentum, he jerked out of the vampire's arm, landing on his back. The vampire straddled Sam again, but before he could pin his arms down, in one swift motion Sam brought the machete up and sliced through the muscle and bone of the neck, and the vampire's head rolled off. _

Dean stood under the hot water for another minute, hoping to relieve the tension in his shoulders. He turned off the water and he was glad to have washed the sweat and grime off of his body. He knew that he and Sam did a good thing, but he'd wished more than he'd like to admit he had a normal job. Dean ran a towel through his hair lightly and wrapped the towel around his hips. He didn't care if Sam whined about him being naked. He just wanted to feel the air on his clean skin. Walking out of the bathroom, he cracked the window and collapsed onto the bed. As motel beds go, this one wasn't so bad.

Exhaustion settled itself over Dean's body, and he closed his eyes. At that moment, Sam strode through the door. Dean heard, but chose to focus on his breathing instead. Seeing his older brother stretched out on one of countless shitty motel beds, Sam stopped for a moment to admire him. Dean was strong; he would take on anything. Dean was also beautiful. Even though he was his little brother, Sam knew what people saw when they looked at Dean. He had tan skin marked with the scars of a warrior, green eyes filled with more love and pain than most people see in a lifetime, every facet of his body rippled with muscles. Looking at Dean made Sam feel safe in a way no one else ever could. It was no mystery to Sam why Dean was such a heartthrob.

"Sam, what the fuck are you staring at me for?" Sam blushed and almost dropped the beer. He didn't notice Dean open his eyes, and he was humiliated thinking how long his brother watched him ogling him.

"Sorry, man. I bought some beer, but I didn't want to wake you up," Sam hoped his brother would choose to believe his lie.

"Just toss one here. You didn't get anything stronger did you?" Dean caught the bottle Sam passed to him and threw one of his arms over his eyes.

"I did actually." Sam pulled out a bottle of cheap whiskey.

"Ya did good, Sammy boy." Dean snatched the bottle from him and gulped some down. Grunting as it burned its way down, he handed it back. "Take a swig. It's good for tortured souls." Sam took the bottle and swallowed almost as much as Dean. The booze spread through his blood, warming him from the inside out. He sat down on the edge of the other bed, facing his brother.

"Good to know cheap liquor is the trick to buying back your affection." Sam teased lightly. Dean could hold a serious grudge, but Sam knew he could never stay mad at him for long. They were family.

"Get me drunk enough to forget tonight, and I might even kiss you." Dean laughed heartily and winked at his brother. His laughter rippled his muscles, and Sam caught himself staring at his brother for the second time that night. _I don't think Dean knows how goddamn gorgeous he is. He needs to put a goddamn shirt on._

"Dean, put some fucking clothes on. You're sickening," Sam turned away from him and took another long drink of the cheap alcohol.

"Jesus, Sam. Don't be such a prude. Why don't you just take your shirt off?" Dean teased. Sam looked over at him, shocked at his brother's words.

"Fine." Sam stood up and unbuttoned his first layer. Sloughing the plaid off his shoulders, he pulled his t-shirt up and over his head. In a huff, he laid back down on the bed. Dean laughed at his brother's seriousness.

"You need to drink cheap booze more often, dude." Dean's laughter shifted his towel and Sam could now stare at his brother's thigh. Feeling the buzz in his brain, Sam knew he was going to say something he regretted.

"Why do you always get so fucking mad at me? Every time I go in for a kill, you get all pissed off like you wanted it for yourself. I'm not weak, ya know." Sam could feel his anger building.

"Sammy…" Dean grabbed the whiskey off the night stand and drank until it was half gone. "I know you're not weak. You and I have suffered through more than most people see in the most terrifying nightmares and come out on top. You just don't understand, Sammy."

"Seriously? That's your brilliant excuse? I don't fucking _understand? _Understand what?! What is so beyond my comprehension that I'm not allowed to take the risks for once?" Sam was standing now, screaming in his brother's face.

"_I fucking need you, Sammy! There ain't no me if there ain't no you!" _Dean had stood up too, chest to chest with his brother. "You're all I've got, man. Keeping you by my side is my reason for livin'. You just don't understand that. You found happiness outside of this life. You don't need me, but I need you." Dean couldn't look at his brother anymore. He was ashamed of being so weak. He sat down again, his breathing ragged. The tears were coming, and he couldn't stop them now. He had lost Sam before, and he would do anything to keep him here from now on.

"Dean…" Sam whispered. "How could you think that I don't need you? You're my big brother. I've looked up to you my whole life. I don't know who I would be without you. Look at me."

Sam knelt down in front of his brother. He put his finger under Dean's chin and pulled him face to face. With his other hand, he wiped away the tear falling from his eye and stroked his cheek. Dean's green eyes looked more frightened in this moment than Sam had ever seen them. "Dean, I love you." Sam didn't bother holding back in this moment. He pressed his lips to his brother's, tasting Dean for the first time. His lips were soft and warm, and Sam kissed gently. Dean needed him right now, and he will give everything to him. Sam kissed him again, running one hand down Dean's neck and running his fingers through his hair.

Dean kissed back slowly. His mind was having a hard time registering what was happening. Whatever it was, the tears or the whiskey or Sam's warm hands, he put his hands on his brother's strong shoulders and leaned into the kiss. Sam was strong. Dean didn't know how he had missed this all these years. He had watched Sam grow up, but he must not have been watching very closely. Sam's tall, muscular build wrapped around Dean, and he shivered as Sam's hands caressed down his back.

Sam felt Dean shiver and wrapped his arms around him. He ran his hands down Dean's back and loosened the towel all the way. He admired Dean's strong, smooth thighs and coaxed his brother's legs around his waist. Dean was reluctant, but wrapped around him tightly. Sam stood up, still kissing his big brother and laid him down on the bed, settling his hips on top of Dean's. Dean pulled away from the kiss and looked up at his brother. Sam's brown eyes pierced into him, making him feel more naked than he already was. He ran his hands down Sam's chest, relishing in his younger brother's impressive physique. Sam moaned softly at Dean's touch, electricity buzzing between them. His cock grew hard as Dean pulled his hips closer to him. Dean gasped when he felt his brother's hardness against his own. With trembling hands, he unbuttoned Sam's jeans and pushed them low. Sam sat up for just one moment to pull his jeans all the way off.

Sam laid back down on top of Dean, running his hands all the way down Dean's sides and back up again. Dean leaned up and pressed a kiss to Sam's lips, slowly tasting his brother's mouth with his tongue. Sam ground his hips against Dean as their tongue met and Dean gasped and tugged at his shoulders.

Suddenly, Dean pulled away. He pulled his legs closer to his chest and turned away from Sam. "Sammy, I'm sorry. I don't think I'm ready for this." In response, Sam kissed him one more time and laid down next to Dean. Dean scooted closer to him and put his head in the crook of his shoulder. Sam wrapped his arm around Dean and pulled him close.

"I love you, Dean." Tangled in each other's embrace, they drifted off feeling safe in each other's arms.

**A/N:**__**I don't even really know how I feel about this. I never thought about writing Wincest, but I thought I'd just give it a shot. But I really do believe Sam and Dean need each other more than they need anyone else. **

**I'm always happy to hear what you think; feel free to comment any praise or criticism or suggestions. Thanks for reading **

**Here's a link to the pic that inspired this story. ** art/Wincest-J2-10-202049652


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